Thursday.

Can't get to sleep. Seem to be having quite a few nights like this - annoying as my ECG appt is early this morning. I'm not feeling particularly anxious about it. Might have a small glass of milk, sometimes helps me nod off.

Going to see Anna later and taking her some red grapes - says she's fed up with the green ones. She will need a load of physio once the broken ankle is sorted - hope she won't need plates in it.  A worrying time.

My sis said it's going to be very cold today, so I had better wrap up, especially if it turns out my ticker is a bit dodgy, as getting cold thickens the blood apparently, especially in us old dodderers!  A cheerful prospect.

I really don't like this old age thingy and the health problems it can bring. I still feel fairly fit and have a mental age of 30 ish!! Pity I don't look it though.😕

I had hoped that me and Paul would grow really old together, but staying young at heart - alas,  it was not to be.

Let me get that small glass of milk now . I can imagine Paul saying " FFS, just go
to sleep woman!" 

Bless him ❤ xx

Wednesday Ramblings

Feeling lazy this am. I'm usually up, washed or showered by now, but stll in dressing gown. Trying to update and reinstall my banking app, but keeps saying my phone is incompatible with this version, but it doesn't give me alternative in play store. Will have to go in bank and find out why as never had this problem before.

So much for technology and not so smart phones!

The sun has decided to shine so cheered me up a bit. Will watch more daytime TV as can't be bothered to go out today. Expecting parcels too.

Not looking forward to ECG tomorrow - hope they don't find anything sinister ❤!

Fingers crossed.

Tuesday Ramblings.

I had my diabetes review this morning. Nearly missed my appointment as the bus was 15 mins late.
It went well on the whole, as my blood sugar is still going down since I lost some weight, thanks to Slimming World. I have decided to go on Metformin as they keep suggesting I should.  Hope I don't get any long term side effects.

BP was fine too, but nurse thought my pulse was slightly irregular, so has booked me an ECG for Thursday. I have checked it myself and thought it seemed to skip a beat now and then for no reason.  Seeing as what happened to Paul, with his unforeseen heart problems, I don't want to ignore any symptoms. It may be nothing and quite normal for me.

I hope so.

Lazy Sunday Ramblings

Having a lazy dressing gown day at the minute, though I will probably get my arse in gear later. I had asked my eldest daughter Anna round for lunch today, but she texted me to say she was in hospital after falling over and breaking her ankle last night.

She's home now, ankle in plaster, staying round her fella's place so at least has support. She will be off work a while I expect and will need some physio when its set.

I don't think many people read this blog, as I rarely get any comments, though it is linked to my facebook account.

I get the odd comment on there, if I share the link occasionally. It's more for me really I suppose,  to air my thoughts. Since Paul died on that fateful November day, I have been on here much more. I find it really helps, maybe it's like a form of therapy.  I must start writing a few more poems and stories. Paul always encouraged me and thought my efforts were brilliant,  bless him. Slightly biased no doubt!

Roll on Spring. Paul's favourite season and mine. I hope he's happy in the Spring garden at Norse Road.  Love you and miss you, my lovely Paul xx❤

MK.

Of all the exclusive shops in Milton Keynes, the one we spent actual money in, was Poundland - not as if we haven't got a couple in Bedford! 😃 Paul would laugh at that ❤

Me and friend Viv had a chicken sandwich, though it looked suspiciously like a bap to me, plus large fries in Macdonalds - don't tell Slimming World.  Sarah and Jean had a chicken wrap.  I enjoy a bit of junk food occasionally and we did plenty of walking to hopefully burn it off.

Got back in Bedford and bought a pair of matching duck egg blue bedside lamps from QD. Pleased with them.

Last of the big spenders springs to mind, but I enjoyed the day out.

Tony from across the road kindly brought my bird feeder station over that I'd ordered from Amazon and I have attempted to assemble it. Paul usually did these jobs. I will place it in the garden tomorrow and see if it stays up 😕

Out again tomorrow for Burn's lunch where I will have my first taste of haggis!

Must get blood test done Friday as diabetes review coming up next week.

What an exciting life!

More little things..

I had a nice day today,  on the whole - met my good friend Maureen in town and we did some shopping and popped in Paul's cafe for a late breakfast. It was only the third time I've been in there since Paul died😕

Paul, the owner, is going to do some more healthy meals, so will look forward to them being on the new menu. I need to get back in shape, as it's so easy to comfort eat, especially with Christmas and the awful sadness I feel, but I have to remember I'm diabetic now and need to watch my sugar and fat intake, plus I've got rid of most of my former size ?s, ha ha, so don't want to go back there again!

So back to Slimming World on Monday, as I think Paul would want me to carry on with it, especially as I did meet my target weight of 10 st 11lbs. He was so pleased for me. Probably gone well over that now!

I bought some Weightwatchers citrus yogurts yesterday when my lovely friends took me to Sainsburys in Kempston. I hadn't been able to get them in Bedford Tesco. Paul loved the grapefruit ones and I always saved them for him. I tried one earlier and started bawling, thinking how much he would have enjoyed it.

It really is the little things that start me off..

Thursday Ramblings.

It is 35 years today that my ex husband and father of my two daughters, was killed in a horrific accident at London Brick.  I often think of him and feel sad that he died so young. He didn't treat me well at times, but I don't regret meeting him, as he gave me my precious daughters.  I cannot imagine my life without them.

He was a tall man, like my lovely Paul -  good looking, with gorgeous thick, wavy blonde hair and blue eyes, plus,  dare I say, other very attractive attributes in a man! 

He went to work that fateful morning, in the new year of 1984 and never returned to his home.  I had the unenviable task of telling my daughters.  It's strange how a life can be snuffed out so suddenly, without warning. No time to say goodbye to anyone.

None of us know what the future holds  - just as well I suppose.  I don't expect Paul thought he was going to die, in a couple of weeks, after having that first heart attack.

I miss him so much. He was a good man and I don't think I will find anyone like him, to spend the rest of my life with, but  then who knows what  future is mapped out for me?  I'm just glad I have my family and friends to be there for me at the moment.

Sleep well Mick and Paul. I wonder if they are chatting together somewhere?