Tuesday 29 January 2019

Tuesday Ramblings.

I've spent quite a few days at home lately, partly due to feeling ill with some headachey, feeling yuk, sort of virus and partly due to waiting for various parcel deliveries - one being my new mobile.

I upgraded, as other one didn't seem to be compatible with some of my apps. Pleased with its performance so far and it has a better camera too.

I cooked a very healthy meal today -  pan- fried (not as posh as it sounds) salmon steak, with steamed green beans, carrots plus oven cooked potato wedges. Very tasty. Paul wasn't a great fan of fish, unless it was cod 'n chips, so I didn't bother much. He was much happier with red meat.  I miss him so much still, as it's so quiet here without that hearty laugh of his.   I usually have chicken or a pork chop on a Sunday, now it's just me,  unless dining with friends or my youngest daughter.

Anna, my eldest had another Xray today and they found another broken bone on the other side of her leg as they only did one side, even though she had complained it was hurting there also. Seems rather incompetent to me, especially as she works at the hospital. So much for looking after your own!  It will be a much longer recovery time now. I'm going over to see her later in the week, with some goodies to cheer her up.

I am hoping to meet my old workmates tomorrow, as I couldn't make it Monday. I hope the snow doesn't fall tonight. The buses through Springfield Drive are running erratically at the moment, as Anglian Water are digging up our end of Grange lane again,  due to another burst. Let's hope my bus turns up tomorrow.

Goodnight all - sweet dreams x

Thursday 24 January 2019

Thursday Ramblings.

I had a nice day in Kempston with my lovely friends. I wanted to look in the Barnados shop nr Sainsburys, but it was shut. Did a bit of shopping in Sainsburys and the market, then back to my friends house for lunch and later tea.

I am going on holiday to bonnie Scotland with them and more of their friends in March, so really looking forward to that. Paul would be pleased that I am finally going, as we had to cancel ours a couple of years ago,  re. problems with his foot due to diabetes.

It will be my first holiday there. I will enjoy it I'm sure. Just wish Paul could share it with me.

Sunday 20 January 2019

Sunday Ramblings.

I had a nice day over my friends in Kempston yesterday and stayed at theirs overnight. Good food and great company with them and two neighbours I hadn't met before , plus a couple we had previously met when Paul was alive. Neighbour Doreen was there too, so good to catch up with her. We all had a good laugh, especially with the wine flowing. Paul would have enjoyed the evening so much. My heart still cries for him in quiet, solitary moments as it's embarrassing to bawl in front of people  😤❤

Very icy first thing coming back home to Bromham this am, but I had left the heating on low, so bungalow was lovely and warm. Caught up with Casualty and a few other recorded programmes. Microwaved one of my Iceland Slimming World meals as forgot to get chicken out yesterday!  It was some king prawn, noodle, veggie thingy, but not bad. Then had just one mini strawberry viennetta - lovely.

Meeting my old Ashleigh House care home workmates tomorrow for our usual coffee and chat. My friend Sarah is still coping with the loss of her husband last August. Hard to imagine then, I would be in the same boat just a few months later.

Such is life..

Friday 18 January 2019

Friday Ramblings

I had a nice day over eldest daughter Anna's yesterday. Took a Tesco lasagne over to cook,  plus garlic bread and salad ( well, at least something healthy there!)
Very tasty and went down well with naughty but nice, belgian choc eclair and coffee, prior to the meal. SW would not approve!

It was good to see her little dog Filo again and he was all over me, mainly because of the choc eclairs he could smell in my bag!

I managed to get bus back to Bedford from Clapham ok, as obviously Anna unable to drive at the moment. I think boredom is the main thing now as she has to rest the broken leg.

Looks as if she will be off work for quite a while. One of her hospital colleagues has kindly been driving her to appointments. Times like this I wish I had learned.

Spent most of late afternoon and evening watching tv and went to bed about 11pm and slept well for a change. Haven't decided whether to go out today or not as woke up about 6 and dozed off again having weird dreams (no change there)

I might stay in and sort porch cupboards out, as they are full of stuff that Paul acquired over the years, including his toolbox. Not much chance of me using the tools, apart from a screwdriver. I would be lethal wielding a drill and would probably zap myself drilling through an electric cable!

I can hear Paul saying "Leave well alone Wilson!"

Wednesday 16 January 2019

Thursday.

Can't get to sleep. Seem to be having quite a few nights like this - annoying as my ECG appt is early this morning. I'm not feeling particularly anxious about it. Might have a small glass of milk, sometimes helps me nod off.

Going to see Anna later and taking her some red grapes - says she's fed up with the green ones. She will need a load of physio once the broken ankle is sorted - hope she won't need plates in it.  A worrying time.

My sis said it's going to be very cold today, so I had better wrap up, especially if it turns out my ticker is a bit dodgy, as getting cold thickens the blood apparently, especially in us old dodderers!  A cheerful prospect.

I really don't like this old age thingy and the health problems it can bring. I still feel fairly fit and have a mental age of 30 ish!! Pity I don't look it though.😕

I had hoped that me and Paul would grow really old together, but staying young at heart - alas,  it was not to be.

Let me get that small glass of milk now . I can imagine Paul saying " FFS, just go
to sleep woman!" 

Bless him ❤ xx

Wednesday Ramblings

Feeling lazy this am. I'm usually up, washed or showered by now, but stll in dressing gown. Trying to update and reinstall my banking app, but keeps saying my phone is incompatible with this version, but it doesn't give me alternative in play store. Will have to go in bank and find out why as never had this problem before.

So much for technology and not so smart phones!

The sun has decided to shine so cheered me up a bit. Will watch more daytime TV as can't be bothered to go out today. Expecting parcels too.

Not looking forward to ECG tomorrow - hope they don't find anything sinister ❤!

Fingers crossed.

Tuesday 15 January 2019

Tuesday Ramblings.

I had my diabetes review this morning. Nearly missed my appointment as the bus was 15 mins late.
It went well on the whole, as my blood sugar is still going down since I lost some weight, thanks to Slimming World. I have decided to go on Metformin as they keep suggesting I should.  Hope I don't get any long term side effects.

BP was fine too, but nurse thought my pulse was slightly irregular, so has booked me an ECG for Thursday. I have checked it myself and thought it seemed to skip a beat now and then for no reason.  Seeing as what happened to Paul, with his unforeseen heart problems, I don't want to ignore any symptoms. It may be nothing and quite normal for me.

I hope so.

Sunday 13 January 2019

Lazy Sunday Ramblings

Having a lazy dressing gown day at the minute, though I will probably get my arse in gear later. I had asked my eldest daughter Anna round for lunch today, but she texted me to say she was in hospital after falling over and breaking her ankle last night.

She's home now, ankle in plaster, staying round her fella's place so at least has support. She will be off work a while I expect and will need some physio when its set.

I don't think many people read this blog, as I rarely get any comments, though it is linked to my facebook account.

I get the odd comment on there, if I share the link occasionally. It's more for me really I suppose,  to air my thoughts. Since Paul died on that fateful November day, I have been on here much more. I find it really helps, maybe it's like a form of therapy.  I must start writing a few more poems and stories. Paul always encouraged me and thought my efforts were brilliant,  bless him. Slightly biased no doubt!

Roll on Spring. Paul's favourite season and mine. I hope he's happy in the Spring garden at Norse Road.  Love you and miss you, my lovely Paul xx❤

Wednesday 9 January 2019

MK.

Of all the exclusive shops in Milton Keynes, the one we spent actual money in, was Poundland - not as if we haven't got a couple in Bedford! 😃 Paul would laugh at that ❤

Me and friend Viv had a chicken sandwich, though it looked suspiciously like a bap to me, plus large fries in Macdonalds - don't tell Slimming World.  Sarah and Jean had a chicken wrap.  I enjoy a bit of junk food occasionally and we did plenty of walking to hopefully burn it off.

Got back in Bedford and bought a pair of matching duck egg blue bedside lamps from QD. Pleased with them.

Last of the big spenders springs to mind, but I enjoyed the day out.

Tony from across the road kindly brought my bird feeder station over that I'd ordered from Amazon and I have attempted to assemble it. Paul usually did these jobs. I will place it in the garden tomorrow and see if it stays up 😕

Out again tomorrow for Burn's lunch where I will have my first taste of haggis!

Must get blood test done Friday as diabetes review coming up next week.

What an exciting life!

Saturday 5 January 2019

More little things..

I had a nice day today,  on the whole - met my good friend Maureen in town and we did some shopping and popped in Paul's cafe for a late breakfast. It was only the third time I've been in there since Paul died😕

Paul, the owner, is going to do some more healthy meals, so will look forward to them being on the new menu. I need to get back in shape, as it's so easy to comfort eat, especially with Christmas and the awful sadness I feel, but I have to remember I'm diabetic now and need to watch my sugar and fat intake, plus I've got rid of most of my former size ?s, ha ha, so don't want to go back there again!

So back to Slimming World on Monday, as I think Paul would want me to carry on with it, especially as I did meet my target weight of 10 st 11lbs. He was so pleased for me. Probably gone well over that now!

I bought some Weightwatchers citrus yogurts yesterday when my lovely friends took me to Sainsburys in Kempston. I hadn't been able to get them in Bedford Tesco. Paul loved the grapefruit ones and I always saved them for him. I tried one earlier and started bawling, thinking how much he would have enjoyed it.

It really is the little things that start me off..

Thursday 3 January 2019

Thursday Ramblings.

It is 35 years today that my ex husband and father of my two daughters, was killed in a horrific accident at London Brick.  I often think of him and feel sad that he died so young. He didn't treat me well at times, but I don't regret meeting him, as he gave me my precious daughters.  I cannot imagine my life without them.

He was a tall man, like my lovely Paul -  good looking, with gorgeous thick, wavy blonde hair and blue eyes, plus,  dare I say, other very attractive attributes in a man! 

He went to work that fateful morning, in the new year of 1984 and never returned to his home.  I had the unenviable task of telling my daughters.  It's strange how a life can be snuffed out so suddenly, without warning. No time to say goodbye to anyone.

None of us know what the future holds  - just as well I suppose.  I don't expect Paul thought he was going to die, in a couple of weeks, after having that first heart attack.

I miss him so much. He was a good man and I don't think I will find anyone like him, to spend the rest of my life with, but  then who knows what  future is mapped out for me?  I'm just glad I have my family and friends to be there for me at the moment.

Sleep well Mick and Paul. I wonder if they are chatting together somewhere?