Friday Ramblings

Sitting out in the garden this beautiful evening, taking in the lovely combined scents of my roses, sweet peas, mixed stocks and dianthus. 

It doesn't seem a year since me and Paul were sitting here enjoying the cooler air. I still sit the same side of the table, even though I have both the patio chairs to myself. Funny that, but as they say, old habits die hard.

The midwife toads have not been half so noisy this year. Paul would be pleased about that, as he often went in before me, as the racket they made drove him bonkers!

Everything is really blooming now and I wish he were here with me to enjoy it all this summertime, but then, maybe he is..

Thursday Ramblings

I've been busy in the front garden with the help of Colin, my friend, who I know from school. He has made a great job of the borders and I have, at last, planted my 3 yellow roses and lavender.

I only mowed the lawns Sunday, but they look as if the need doing again. They will have to wait, as I have more planting to do. Not sure whether to go on the Higgins walk tomorrow,  as might be aching too much after my efforts today.  It depends on how I feel in the morning. I haven't been for two weeks running due to the awful weather and flipping painful sciatica. Thankfully, the latter seems much better, as is the weather!

I think Paul would be pleased to see the front looking tidier, plus the new roses, as he loved them, as I do.

I saw a lady yesterday who used to live in the village and she asked me how he was. She felt awful when I told her he died last November.

I expect this will happen  quite frequently.. ❤

Alone

Alone in a crowd

People talking out loud

No one notices you're there.

You feel utter despair

Too polite to complain,

Feeling weak with disdain

Your views never heard

Maybe they're too absurd?

So you pen them instead

And hope they'll be read.

Others talking so loud

You feel alone in a crowd.

How I feel sometimes!

Dad

I thought I saw you in town.
The back of your head, the familiar cap.
Your pipe, with those constant billows of smoke.
The accompanying cough.
But of course it wasn't you.
You had left years ago.


Not by choice, of course.
You didn't have a choice.
The awful disease saw to that.
I still miss you so much.
So when I saw the back of his head
and that familiar cap; I was sure it was you.
But of course it wasn't.
How could it be?

Tuesday morning.

Don't know about "Sleepless in Seattle" but definitely sleepless in Bromham - well at least for me!  It doesn't help that the midwife toads have started up again with their bleeping. They keep stopping and starting which makes it worse.

I've probably spent too much time on social media today, so no one to blame for my insomnia, but me.

Maybe a small glass of milk will help...

Menopause

There is much coverage on the BBC at the moment regarding the menopause. Twenty-five years ago I was going through mine. It was an awful time as I recall. My symptoms were really awful, especially at night.  I would get awful hot sweats, but the worst thing was the frightening heart palpitations. Even at 77,  I still get them occasionally, though not anywhere near as scary. I can usually control them with breathing exercises.

In the 1990s though, I really thought I had a heart problem and frequently complained to my GP. I had tests eg, wearing a 24 hr heart trace, but nothing abnormal showed up. The annoying thing is, I was never given any explanation for my symptoms, as to whether it was actually the menopause causing it. I got the impression that I should just go away and put up with it. I felt I was wasting their time. Many of my friends didn't seem to have the same symptoms as me and I felt very alone, with mine. I was never offered HRT as the doctor I saw at the time said it wasn't  "the be all and end all" cure!

Aa a result I spent many nights lying in bed, thinking I was going out of my mind.

It's great to know that times have changed for the women of today and that the menopause is discussed openly and more sympathetically.

LAMENT OF THE UNLOVED STARLING

LAMENT OF THE UNLOVED STARLING



I'm much maligned and quite upset
as no one wants me as their pet.
When I alight on your bird-feeder,
I hear you shout "Get off, you bleeder!"
No one thinks that I am pretty,
'cause I don't sing a tuneful ditty.
But I can mimic your ring-tone
and send you running for your phone.
I can impersonate almost any bird,
but you still treat me like a turd.
No one loves this poor old starling
though I only want to be your darling.
But you're happy when I eat your slugs
and rid your plot from nasty bugs.
So just think, before casting me aside,
that you may wound this starling's pride.
So welcome me to come and dine,
or I'll poop on your washing line!